Sirius Black-Mail
by breaksforbirds
Summary: "I know it's hard for you to play nicely with your ex-girlfriends, Sirius."


**Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition Round 11: I Open At The Close**

Position: Seeker for the Holyhead Harpies

Prompt: Begin and end with the same word; don't use "said" or "says"

Word Count (Pages): 1,161

* * *

 **Sirius Black-Mail**

Her hair feels slimy as she marches toward him. "You are insufferable."

Sirius smirks. "That's a large word for such a tiny girl."

Marlene narrows her eyes and draws herself up to her full five-foot-one-inch height. "Look, I don't know what made you decide to put frogs in my hair while I was sleeping, but—"

"Thought it would be funny."

"It wasn't."

Sirius arches his back and raises his arms over his head in a spine-popping stretch. His red sweater lifts up off his abdomen, revealing the bottom of a set of abs Marlene knows _very_ intimately. "Don't fall asleep in the common room next time, then. If you make yourself a target, I really can't be blamed."

"How would you like it if someone impinged upon your space while you were sleeping and put some slimy amphibian in _your_ precious—"

"There you go again with those large words."

She lets out a frustrated snarl. "I can spell it out more clearly, if my vocabulary is too advanced for your tiny brain." She takes a step toward him, nearly bouncing up on her tiptoes as she cranes her neck back so she can meet his eyes. "If you touch me one more time, I will hex you and make you go blind." She rocks back on her heels. "Those were all one-syllable words. Did you understand them?"

Sirius is still smirking, as if he finds her amused rather than frightening. "You wouldn't blind me. You like me looking at you too much."

She gasps. "Sirius!"

"Totally serious, yes."

She doesn't even bother to roll her eyes. "I know it's hard for you to play nicely with your ex-girlfriends, but—"

"Ex-girlfriends?" He quirks an eyebrow. "I've never had a problem with any of my other ex-girlfriends. It's just _you_ I've got a problem—"

She talks over him. "For the sake of our best friends, I think we should try to get along. At least until their wedding is over."

Sirius throws himself over the back of the couch that sits in front of the Gryffindor fireplace, landing in the cushions with a _smoosh._ "Their wedding isn't for a bloody year and a half."

"We dated for nearly two years. We've proven we can tolerate each other for extended periods of time."

Sirius shakes his head as he lifts his feet onto the coffee table and crosses them at the ankle. "That was before."

After a moment of hesitation, Marlene walks around the back of the couch and sits gingerly beside him. There is still an indentation in the cushions from where her head had rested an hour ago during her nap by the fire—there's still a stain of lake water from all the frogs Sirius had unceremoniously dropped on her dark ringlets as she slept. "We don't have a choice. Lily asked me to be her Maid of Honor. James asked you to be his Best Man. We both agreed. There's no turning back."

"There's turning back for _me._ " Sirius is gazing into the fire. "James has other friends he who could replace me. But you're all Lily's got."

"Lily's got plenty of friends!"

Sirius snorts. "Who? McGonagall?"

Marlene purses her lips. "Fine. Back out, then. Tell James to have Remus be Best Man. I'd rather have him in the wedding party, anyway."

Sirius snaps his head to look at her. "I'm not backing out of anything. This isn't about _you,_ Princess McKinnon. This is about James."

"And Lily." Marlene runs a hand through her tangled curls. "Funny how we all seem to have switched places, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"James and Lily never got along in the beginning, but to look at them now, you'd think they'd been in love all their lives. And you and I—" She stops. "Well, look at us. You just put _frogs_ in my hair."

He doesn't reply.

"I loved you, Sirius."

He's looking into the fire again. "We don't have to talk about this."

"I think we do."

"I'll be civil to you at the wedding. But before then, I'll be avoiding you, I think."

Marlene points to the puddle on the couch cushions. "Frogs. Hair."

The ghost of a smirk passes across his face. "I'll be avoiding you except for pranks, I meant. That was too good of an opportunity to pass up. You can't blame me for that. I would have done it to anyone."

She sighs and wraps her arms around herself.

A few minutes pass before he speaks again. "You know, we could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble if you'd just been honest at the beginning."

"Honest?" She rakes a hand through her hair, wincing at the wetness of frog residue. "Are you serious? Don't make the joke," she adds as he opens his mouth.

"Don't set me up for it, then."

"What gives you the right to talk about honesty?"

He lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "You lied about a few things."

" _I_ lied?" Marlene hears her voice shoot up an octave. "Let me refresh your memory on a few things, Black. Almost two years into our relationship, you told me you were a dog person. I told you that I was a dog person, too."

"Exactly."

"And then you casually transformed into a bloody canine in front of my eyes."

"I don't understand how this makes me a liar." Sirius is finally looking at her, his face arranged in careful amusement. "I told you I was an animagus."

" _That is not what 'dog person' means!_ "

"How is that not what 'dog person' means?"

"And then!" She's yelling now, and she knows everyone can hear. "You were actually offended that I wasn't _also_ an animagus."

"Right." Sirius nods. "You told me you were a dog person, too. And you weren't. You lied to me."

"It was a misunderstanding. Not a lie."

"I showed you my biggest secret."

She shakes her head. "We both know your biggest secret is the Marauders Map."

He jumps to his feet. "How do you know about—?"

"Lily told me."

"How does _she_ know about—" Sirius swears loudly. " _Potter!_ "

"Face it, Black." Marlene is smiling—really _smiling_ —and for a moment, the thrill in her stomach reminds her of old times. "I know too much. If you don't give in to my demands, I'll spill all your secrets."

"Are you blackmailing me?"

She stands, hands on her hips, and faces him. "Yes. Seriously blackmailing you."

He stares at her for a moment before throwing his head back and bursting into laughter. She joins in.

"So can we be civil until the wedding?"

He's laughing too hard to answer. "Serious—blackmail," he chokes, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Yes." She hasn't heard his laugh in so long—hasn't seen him happy in months—

"That was _funny_!"

"Can we—"

Still laughing, he darts forward to wrap her up in his arms and kiss her.


End file.
